My last day in Chicago
by Anchors
Summary: A one shot about losing everything you have, including the one person that you can't live without. Alternate Universe and All Human.


_Hello! I needed some inspiration for my other two stories "The Thorns of my Memories" and "Sugarcoated" so I took some time off from them to write this sad little one shot. Enjoy and please tell me if you like it and how it makes you feel._

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_**Viva La Vida**_

Viva la Vida. Live the life. That's what I was perpetually told by those who surrounded me, or at least that's how it used to be. The only things presently surrounding me where the crunchy, rust colored leaves that were littering the ground and dancing about in the air, the old decrepit buildings that looked as though they would crumble at any moment, and my own self loathing. Of course my impassioned hatred for myself was invisible but ultimately the only thing I could see or feel.

I used to rule the world…but now all that was left of the life I once lived were dim memories. I forced myself with all my might to remember those times, not to recollect on the many social gatherings I attended, the cars I drove or the faithless friends that once flocked to me. No, I held on to these memories, some wonderful and some downright painful, to remember her…everything she was to me and everything we felt for each other. In a town and time consisting of nothing but false illusions of souls, she was something real. And more than that, she was _my_ something real, the one constantly commendable person I had.

That was all gone now though, she was gone and not a second ticked by without my heart aching for her. Though my tears had dried I was in an eternal state of mourning, I walked the streets lamenting the loss of my love.

"Viva la Vida, man. Get over her, she's gone and she isn't coming back to you."

That was the last thing spoken to me by any of my false friends. They now considered me a worthless friend since they had nothing to gain from me anymore. I had no status or money to give, no mansion to party at and no cars to lend out. I gave it all away; no worldly possessions meant anything to me after she left.

Now when I passed my old friends in the street I was a ghost in their eyes, not worthy of notice.

I sighed, stuck my cold hands deep into the pockets of my coat and slowed my pace. I let my mind wonder off with thoughts of her, my angel. I smiled at the thought of how she used to light up any room she entered, how her laugh disintegrated my worries, how looking into her warm, endless chocolate eyes and seeing her beautiful smile made me fall in love with her over and over again. I longed to feel her soft pink lips on mine and see her cheeks blush a beautiful crimson red when she was embarrassed or flustered.

I let my mind wander back to the time when we visited her childhood home in the Olympic Peninsula. It was a cold, cloudy day and the wind was chilling us to the bone but she wanted to visit a beach on the Indian reservation by her home. I obliged as I always did, I could never deny her anything that would make her even the slightest bit happy. We sat on a driftwood log for hours, content with sitting there in silence with nature's beauty surrounding us. It was in that blissful moment that I decided to do the one thing that had been on my mind since the first time I saw her.

"_Love…" I whispered._

_She smiled nuzzling her head on the base of my neck. "Hmm…?"_

"_There's something I've been meaning to ask you for a while now."_

_She removed her head from its resting place on my neck and looked deep into my eyes, a slightly concerned expression forming on her face. "What is it?"_

_I took a deep breath and stood in front of where she was sitting on the log. "Do you know how much I love you?"_

_She smiled again, warming me despite the frigid temperature. "Yes... a lot, but slightly less than I love you."_

_I smiled back at her. "Nice try but that is utterly impossible I'm afraid. I can't live without you, you're my earth, sun and air all wrapped up in one beautiful package. To be without you by my side would be a tragedy far too great for me to even think about." _

_I got down on one knee in front of her and pulled the small box holding my mother's diamond ring out of the pocket it had been nestled in for the last few months, waiting for the opportune moment for me to show her, to ask her. _

"_Love, I'd like to ask if you would privilege me with the honor of becoming my wife. Will you marry me?"_

_A single, happy tear escaped from her right eye before she tackled me. There, lying in the grainy sand of the beach she said the single most important word I would ever hear._

"_Yes."_

_Then she kissed me._

I smiled at the memory of how much love we shared. The cold Chicago wind picked up and I started walking faster.

A young mother was walking in my direction with her daughter's hand tight in her grasp. The little girl had rosy red checks, big brown eyes and long chocolate ringlets. It felt like needles were being stuck into my heart as that little girl's image reminded me that I would never have a child with my love. I would never get to hold a little carbon copy of my Bella, looking down at the deep brown eyes she would surely inherit from her mother-it would be a crime for her not to.

I walked past the park where I'm sure the mother and daughter had just come from and quickened my pace even more at the realization that I was almost to my destination, soon I would be near my love. After a few minutes I walked up to the old stone archway and pushed open the intricate wrought-iron gate. The stone path was cracked in a few places and little tuffs of grass where sticking out of them. This part of the journey always reminded me of Bella. My life was the cold, hard stone and she was the vibrant green life, defying the will of the stone to keep anything good from breaking through it. She forced happiness into my life because no matter where she went, happiness followed loyally.

I spied the huge, nearly ancient oak tree that now donned leaves of orange, red and gold instead of its usual green, and walked off of the path towards it. This was like home to me now, the one place where I was close to Bella and the one place where I could feel any bit of happiness. I picked this spot for a reason so many months ago. The beauty here was untouched by the dirt and grime of the city, just as _she_ was. She never let the fast paced lifestyle drag her in, she was always pure, beautiful, kind small town Bella and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I leaned my back up against the solid trunk of the old tree as I sat down and I began to hum the lullaby that I had written for her. The wind caressed my cheek after I finished and I wondered out loud if wherever she was, she knew that I loved her as much today as I ever had.

"Bella…" I whispered. "I love you, I'm sorry for everything. I let you down, I should have protected you but I didn't and now I can't stand myself."

I leaned over and placed my hand on the cold, smooth marble of the weeping angel.

"I can't live without you anymore love," I said while letting a single tear fall from my eye onto the brilliant white stone. I took the single pill I brought with me out of my pocket and swallowed it. I reached back in the same pocket and pulled out the note that I penned late last night and grasped it tightly in my hand.

I hummed Bella's lullaby once more while I laid down under the protective gaze of the sad stone angel. I looked up at the vibrant colors of the old oak tree as the fiery leaves drifted and danced slowly, one by one to the ground around me.

It was here underneath the beautiful tree, in which I had only months ago watched the love of my life and the reason for my existence be buried, that I closed my eyes for the last time. Under the watch of the angel and right above my true love's final resting place I waited to die.

The wind picked up again and I was content to feel its chill one last time, knowing that an afterlife with my Bella was only moment's away.

"I'll see you soon love…"

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_Well that was kind of sad. It feels good to write a sad thing every once in a while and let the emotions out. Let me know what you thought of it please. Oh and let me know if you figured out that Bella was dead before I said that was where she was buried… I was trying to be all stealthy about it and make it seem like she just left him but I'm not sure how great of a job I did with that. The stone angel he refered to is Bella's headstone. If you google search "weeping angel headstone" you'll see what it looks like, very pretty. It seems like something Edward would buy for Bella if she died. Take care!_


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